This thing called love…

This thing called love is a fickle beast. It’s warm and gentle. It’s hurtful and rude at times. It’s sweet and innocent or jealous and spiteful. Loving someone can hurt, if it’s unrequited. Sometimes even requited love can hurt. Love teaches us about ourselves and others. It, also, shows our loved ones how we feel. Love has many different faces, words, and actions. Sometimes love looks like a mom tying her child’s shoe, or a dad teaching his son to catch. It’s a parent making their young adult child learn from their own mistakes and supporting them in their decisions afterwards. It’s a girlfriend holding her boyfriend’s hand during hard times. It’s a husband holding his wife’s hand during childbirth. It’s a friend telling you that you’ve made a big mistake. It’s your child wiping the tears away when they catch you crying…over spilled milk, of course. It’s giving your loved one space when needed, and being with them when you know they shouldn’t be alone. 

The most important thing about love is that it is. Love is. 

Love is. 


The Feel Me Poem

City lights neon clatter

Fucking type what I said

We both speak as we listen

On the other side of the partition

These conversations are always best undressed, free of arbitrary thoughts

Who’s to say what is and what’s naught 

Who’s to guess and who’s to dream

If you leave again, I’ll scream

Into the wind,

Apart the flame. Into the kite 

A run from it’s string. 

A cry into the night is all I’ll bring

What makes you think you’ll cry?

Stringing me along, can you even try? I want to die. 

I’ll resuscitate you

And I’ll kick you til I’m blue…can’t say it isn’t true

Fuck it all, undo

Like the cries in the night? Her eyes filled with fright

She’s confused, it’s the light

As she burns in the bright rays, her skin tight

Taught, wrist bound but soul not

She pulls and tugs, but her blood does not clot

But touch can repair all that is not

Touch repairs her wounds, but not what’s in her heart
By Rev. Brenna Carnevale & Richard Huggins, RN

Love Endures

I see so many people posting memes and saying things like “I want this”, “why can’t this be us”, and “my boo doesn’t do this for me” and it irritates the fuck outta me. I spent an entire marriage, a pretty good marriage, wishing for my husband to be like other guys. What I should have been doing was appreciating MY husband for what he did for me. 

The grass is always greener. If you’re looking at other couples and being jealous, it’s probably because you’re too blind to see that you have exactly what you want right in front of you. What you’re too ignorant to realize is that your love looks different than others, because you’re different people than those who you’re jealous of. 

Their story is different. Their love is different. Their personalities are different. They have different lifestyles. 

None of that means that you don’t have the same kind of love as they do. So stop and think about YOUR love. Stop and think about how YOUR love is awesome. Stop and think about how YOUR love is loyal to the end. Stop and think about how YOUR love is everything you want and need. Then embrace it for what it is and never let that shit go. 

If you don’t open your eyes and pay attention to what’s in front of you, then you’re going to miss out on something beautiful. Love isn’t peaches & roses when you’re first starting out. Love is hard. Love will test you in ways you never imagined. Love will push you to your limits…and then push you some more. Love is a choice you make every single day. Love takes hard work. Love takes honest & open communication. Love takes trust. Love takes time. 

It takes time to build up to those extravagant proposals you see posted online. It takes time to build up to the comfort level you desire. It takes time to earn everything you want *right now*. 

Most of all…love endures. 

Love the person who is right in front of you, NOT the person you want them to be. If you want that person to change this and that about them, then you’re better off loving them without you. Don’t try to change the person, because that’s not TRUE love. True love doesn’t try to change anyone. True love says “I love you as you are.”

I’m Dating Someone Even Though I’m Married….

Sometimes a marriage gets stale and monotonous, and we forget to continue learning about our spouse.  The same is true in long term relationships, no matter if you’re gay, straight, bi, or whatever.  Often times, we forget why we got married or who it is we married when life gets busy and stressful.  Our spouse gets neglected, and the marriage fails. I experienced things like this in my marriage…although it was for different reasons.  However, I’ve seen it happen in those around me, and I’ve even seen it in some family members’ marriages.  

We get married, and then we stop dating.  The children arrive, we work more, life gets busier, and before we know it we’re left with an empty house and two people who have no idea who the other truly is anymore.  When we say our vows, we promise not to let anyone get in the way of our marriage…shouldn’t that include the children?  Yes, we have a responsibility to care and provide for our children, but our first promise was to each other.  How can two people parent children effectively, if they’re not on the same page or don’t communicate and stay on track with where the other person is coming from?  Parents, married couples, need alone time to nurture their marriage and check in with each other to keep that spark…that love…alive.  Marriage is a commitment, a promise with your soul, to never leave that person’s side no matter what.  How can that promise stay strong if the marriage isn’t tended to?  

When I read this blog entry, it reminded me of a movie I watched.  I cried my eyes out, because I saw so many of the negatives in my marriage, but no matter what I did nothing worked.  Like I said, my issues were for different reasons.  I didn’t know what the reasons were until we were seven years into the marriage…but that’s not what this particular blog is about.  This blog is about always seeing (not literally, more on a deeper level) the person you’re married to.  As we grow older, we change on the inside.  Our views change when we have children, perhaps we experience something that is life altering and our heart changes, or someone treats us in a hurtful way…our significant other needs to know these things so he/she can understand what motivates you and drives you to do or say what you do.  

The movie I was referring to in the above paragraph is called “Fireproof.”  It’s a beautiful story about a married couple who sort of lose each other, and forget what’s really important in their lives.  It is a Christian film, but the message is true for most religious affiliation. 

This is the entry I read, and the link to the webpage this came from is at the end.  Enjoy!


Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor, author, and blogger. And he has a confession that has everyone talking lately. You’ll see why below.

On Jarrid’s blog post titled, “I’m Dating Someone Even Thought I’m Married,” he writes:

“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.

She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.

Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?

Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.

I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.

Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.

When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.

I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”

– Jarrid Wilson”


What you see is what you get

I’m more than just a pair of breasts

I’m a brain with knowledge

I’m a heart with feelings

What you see is what you get

I’m more than a piece of ass

I’m a lover who’ll never leave

I’m the mother of your children

What you see is what you get

I’m a woman who is plain and simple

I’m football and friends on Sunday

I’m cuddling by the fire

What you see is what you get

I’m more than a night on the town

I’m comfort when you’re sick

I’m a warm embrace when you’re sad

I’m listening when you need to vent

What you see is what you get

I’m honesty when you want it

I’m the truth when you need it

I’m your cheerleader when you’re defeated

I’m yours and you better believe it


Your love crept into my heart
Like dust collecting on a knickknack
Slowly, over time

One small speck at a time
Sometimes it was dusted off
Trying to avoid being distorted
Avoiding hurt, pain, and being broken or forgotten

Then, somehow, it began to collect
One tiny piece at a time
Refusing the dusting
Attaching pieces of you to my once broken heart

I still dust you off, but
Not for avoidance, for maintenance
I’m still me, but with pieces of you
To make me better,

Pieces of you to heal my heart,
To make me whole,
One tiny piece at a time
I’ll be covered completely

Still me, but with pieces of you
To complete me, to make me
A better me, whole
Complete with love