Sometimes a marriage gets stale and monotonous, and we forget to continue learning about our spouse. The same is true in long term relationships, no matter if you’re gay, straight, bi, or whatever. Often times, we forget why we got married or who it is we married when life gets busy and stressful. Our spouse gets neglected, and the marriage fails. I experienced things like this in my marriage…although it was for different reasons. However, I’ve seen it happen in those around me, and I’ve even seen it in some family members’ marriages.
We get married, and then we stop dating. The children arrive, we work more, life gets busier, and before we know it we’re left with an empty house and two people who have no idea who the other truly is anymore. When we say our vows, we promise not to let anyone get in the way of our marriage…shouldn’t that include the children? Yes, we have a responsibility to care and provide for our children, but our first promise was to each other. How can two people parent children effectively, if they’re not on the same page or don’t communicate and stay on track with where the other person is coming from? Parents, married couples, need alone time to nurture their marriage and check in with each other to keep that spark…that love…alive. Marriage is a commitment, a promise with your soul, to never leave that person’s side no matter what. How can that promise stay strong if the marriage isn’t tended to?
When I read this blog entry, it reminded me of a movie I watched. I cried my eyes out, because I saw so many of the negatives in my marriage, but no matter what I did nothing worked. Like I said, my issues were for different reasons. I didn’t know what the reasons were until we were seven years into the marriage…but that’s not what this particular blog is about. This blog is about always seeing (not literally, more on a deeper level) the person you’re married to. As we grow older, we change on the inside. Our views change when we have children, perhaps we experience something that is life altering and our heart changes, or someone treats us in a hurtful way…our significant other needs to know these things so he/she can understand what motivates you and drives you to do or say what you do.
The movie I was referring to in the above paragraph is called “Fireproof.” It’s a beautiful story about a married couple who sort of lose each other, and forget what’s really important in their lives. It is a Christian film, but the message is true for most religious affiliation.
This is the entry I read, and the link to the webpage this came from is at the end. Enjoy!
Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor, author, and blogger. And he has a confession that has everyone talking lately. You’ll see why below.
On Jarrid’s blog post titled, “I’m Dating Someone Even Thought I’m Married,” he writes:
“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.
She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.
Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.
Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?
Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.
I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.
Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.
When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.
I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”
– Jarrid Wilson”