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“You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?”

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This man couldn’t have said this better.  I was a stay-at-home mom for 6 years, and I loved every discouraging, arduous & anxiety ridden minute of it.  My children’s father was deployed a lot, and I was in the reserves.  We had the three kids….and three dogs.  What did I do all day?  Let’s just say, if it’s household related I did it.  All meals were made from scratch, I baked healthy snacks from scratch, the house was always immaculate and so were the kids.  Everyone was, except me.  I was always the first one up and the last one to bed each and every day.  I fixed things, killed bugs & took out the trash.  I was the father & mother before their father asked for a divorce.  Now I have to work, and I would give all of my girlie parts to be able to go back to being a stay-at-home mother again.  My kids don’t have me there to hold them when they cry, kiss their wounds (they’re all under 10), or tuck them in at night sometimes.  Now two of my kids live with their dad….long personal story….and I have to work twice as hard (actually, harder) to attain a place where they can live with me and our oldest child.  Yes, life is hard being a stay-at-home mom, and it is often a thankless job.  However, the reward comes when your children grow up to be contributors to society.  The reward comes when your children apply the lessons you have taught them.  The reward comes when they call you just to thank you for everything you did for them, because they are now parents and understand you much better.  (Then the grandkids come in, and you get to spoil them rotten and send them home to their parents!)

“You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?”.

27 thoughts on ““You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?””

  3. Pingback: Stay at Home Working Mom | Moms to the Max

  4. This was so direct and poignant and rang true for me deeply. Two of mine also live with their dad (devastating and long story) but staying at home is so challenging. It is harder when your partner is fixated on your worth being valued at dollars and cents. Sigh…Very frustrating. But yes, we do a lot. Thanks.

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    • That’s exactly what my marriage was like. I’m so glad I’m not there anymore, but I do miss my kids. I have one of them with me, and I’m so glad I was able to keep him. He’s Autistic, and his father does not have the patience for my son’s needs. It’s also wearing thin with my middle child. He can’t deal with her “attitude,” and other behavioral issues, but he honestly doesn’t take enough time with her. He’s literally too busy with other things and doesn’t make time for her. Oh well, that just means that he’ll ship her off to me, and I’ll have my baby back!

      Hang in there, it’ll all work out in the end, just have faith 🙂

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      • Thanks for the response. Autism is certainly a big adjustment in lifestyle. My ex-husband bribed my boys with money, then within a year of them living with him, there were two suicide attempts and probation for marijuana possession. While with me they were top of their class, volunteer-oriented, athletes and scholars. It’s hard to feel helpless in situations like these, but things are definitely improving. Thanks again for your post. We mothers bear the weight of the world don’t we?

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  5. As a happily married husband and father of five I want every man out there to know that a stay at home mom is beyond compare. There is none other like her. She is up early before the sun rises and the household stirs. She is the last one to go to bed. She is the caretaker of the home, the comforter of the children, the romance of the husband. She considers the income and spends wisely. She cooks, cleans, feeds, loves, and when all of that is done she does it again and again. There are no holidays for her and when the holidays do roll around her workload doubles and triples. She is the backbone of America. She is the encourager of the future, the forgiver of the past, and the guide of the present. She does the work of five people who go to offices or plants to work. And she does all of this with one thing in mind, Love. She teaches, she preaches, she counsels, she cares for those that get forgotten. And yet it isn’t what she does that defines who she is. She is a woman of such great value that all the gold and silver and precious linen cannot replace her. She is a mother and a wife. There is no greater task in our world today than to achieve what she does every day. I for one could do nothing if not for my wife standing beside me, encouraging me in my roll to be a leader, a provider, a protector. May the rest of the men come to realize how valuable their beloved is and honor her in such a way as to show it.

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  7. Reblogged this on Living Life: Day by Day and commented:
    Some people (mostly men) assume that being a stay-at-home mom means you do nothing but lounge around all day watching TV and eating popcorn … not! There is so much to be done and it always needs to be done sooner rather than later. That being said, I have been a part of the corporate world from the time I was 18 years old. I got married at 30, had my son at 32 and got divorced at 42. Like many of us, I was mother and father before I became a single parent. It was one of the hardest times in my life, but I made it and my son made it, and I think we are both the better having gone through it together.

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  8. Some people (mostly men) assume that being a stay-at-home mom means you do nothing but lounge around all day watching TV and eating popcorn … not! There is so much to be done and it always needs to be done sooner rather than later. That being said, I have been a part of the corporate world from the time I was 18 years old. I got married at 30, had my son at 32 and got divorced at 42. Like many of us, I was mother and father before I became a single parent. It was one of the hardest times in my life, but I made it and my son made it, and I think we are both the better having gone through it together. You are a great mom Brenna, and so are a lot of the other women who commented on your post. We moms rock!

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  9. I am a stay at home Mom but we also work from home so basically a stay at home worker Mom.I love the balance that I manage to juggle between work and kids, but it is tough but so very worth it in the long run

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  10. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years. I would get up early to workout, make breakfast and make my husband’s lunch. I treated being at home like a part-time job when it came to cleaning house. We didn’t have a show home but we had love and fun. Now that I am a divorced working mom, I appreciate the days of being home. It’s hard to do both but it’s doable. Put them first, create a balance don’t forget show and tell then you love them. That’s free and has lasting effects.

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  11. I was a stay at home because I had a working mom and now I am traveler. Though I loved it, I don’t advise it. Because when your kids grow up (and they will), they leave – as we all did. it is very hard to then join the work force. I had to create a whole new life older and newly alone. I did it -not easily or willingly. I think it is really important for women to be self supporting in this day and age and pass that lesson on to their children. Divorce is always a no win situation. I think you are doing great!

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  12. Thank you for visiting my site and following, as it gave me the opportunity to find your site. You are an amazing mom and I’m sure your children will thank you for all you have done for them!

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  13. I’m a stay at home, homeschooling kind of mom. There are never enough hours in the day to finish everything I wish to get done. Wishing you strength and success so that you can be reunited with your other kids soon.

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    • Awe, thank you for your kind words. Also, thank you for being the kind of mom you are. I’m sure your children will appreciate all of your hard work when they’re older. Enjoy your children, they are a blessing.

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  15. I think stay at home moms must stay pretty busy if they’re really taking good care of their homes and kids. It seems like a never ending task.
    Thanks for following my blog. 🙂

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  16. God bless mom’s who make their children, their top priority. Let America build a pedestal for each and everyone of them. No one deserves the country’s gratitude more.

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  18. I spent seven years working part time (3 days a week) when my children were small and I can sympathize completely. Somehow because I “wasn’t working” all the household chores, errands, everything kid related, and all the maintenance jobs like mowing the lawn and pruning plants all became my job…since I wasn’t doing anything all day when I was home. I felt under-appreciated, taken for granted, and on my own, even though I was married. It’s not hard to see why that marriage didn’t end up lasting.

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  19. It reminds me so much of a joke I once heard. It’s funny because it’s very true (and if we wouldn’t laugh about it we would cry).
    Here is a blogpost (not mine) where the joke was posted:
    http://mymeproject.wordpress.com/2011/05/19/joke-what-did-you-do-all-day/
    I’m not a stay at home mom, but I work parttime. Sometimes a day at work feels like a day off, especially after busy days with the kids (and all the work that needs to be odne at home: cleaning, laundry, renovation, sorting out clothes that are too small (but not yet ready to be tossed out etc..)

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  20. Hi thanks for liking my blog – I had the experience switching from a working dad to a mostly stay at home for a couple of years with my almost 2 and 4 year old daughters – I can say with absolute assurance that it was the most stretching and fulfilling work I have ever done – going away for 5 hours to see 4 anxious clients was a relaxing interlude – they just wanted my attention care and skill – my daughters wanted my entire being – At home Parents are AMAZING!!!!!!

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  21. I wish I could say I was immaculate, but at least the dishes get done, toys picked up, and ingredients set out for the next days meals. I hope you get everything worked out for your home situation so you can have your kids with you more. I do understand the deployments, 2nd one being with my husband. I have also done one before I had kids or marriage. Probably working on a third in the future… Takes a strong person to handle all that there is to handle at home, without your spouse. They don’t always appreciate what we have done or continue to do. When our kids grow up with manners, skills, and good education they’ll know… Thanks for add! Hope to see more posts from you

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  22. My Mum had a PhD that she could’ve done a million things with. But she chose to spend her time (her life) in bringing me up and making sure I got all the time I needed. Neither of us regret what she did. And neither should you!

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  23. This question some days makes me laugh but most days make me cry. Thanks for your light-hearted honest answer yo the question that should be left to sleep.

    I think I’m going to start replying with a question. ‘Wow, what do you do all day at work? Chat at the water bubbler? Make a few phone calls from your desk? Pee alone? Ear lunch at your desk or with other adults? Must be nice.’

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